Putting Pain Into Purpose
Last February, I really felt like I was drowning in my sadness and grief with no space to share, feel, or guide how to navigate my life with Soraya in hospice.
I had asked Soraya’s medical team for resources on living with anticipatory grief, and they didn’t have anything to share with me.
I didn’t know where to go from there.
I gathered some great people to sit with me in those feelings and we traveled to find some much-needed peace, quiet, and reflection…
We ended up somewhere that had grief counselors available. I sought one out and wanted any and all guidance she could give me – books, seminars, courses, any resource on how to live when you know your child is dying. I shared everything I had been doing to care for myself and my family with this counselor. I just wanted to be more prepared... and to connect with ANYONE who has experienced ANY loss that may understand how I felt.
The counselor said she was impressed that I was already doing all the things she would instruct someone in my position to do. She said she didn’t know of any resources about anticipatory grief and then joked that maybe I should write a book.
So, that’s what I decided to do!!!
I decided to pursue writing a book – I AM writing a book (and I have been for months!).
I hope this book will not only share our family’s experience, but help other families feel less isolated. I am hoping to connect families and help other parents live with joy amongst the immense grief.
After that first trip last year, I realized the significance and impact of taking time and space away. Each trip, I come back a different person – one that is more evolved and ready to share to put this pain into purpose. ❤️