Feeling Excluded at the Dinner Table…and in Life

We had a family meeting on Sunday because Soraya has been feeling excluded at the dinner table. It was HARD and emotional and beautiful all at once.

Our table is arranged so that Safi and I sit next to Soraya so we can access her G-tube, and then Yasmeen and Leena sit next to us. Y and Leena often talk to each other because the girls are a bit separated, and we learned this was making Soraya feel left out even though they weren’t trying to be exclusive.

From the outside, it seems like a pretty typical sibling situation... but nothing is “typical” when you have a child in hospice.

Soraya shared that she isn’t just feeling excluded at the dinner table – she’s feeling excluded in LIFE 😔

Soraya shared that she isn’t able to go to sporting activities like Y and Leena do or have friendships in the same way as them. She ended up crying as she said, “You guys, I’m dying sooner. I don’t have much time and the one thing I want is to make our relationships as good as they can be.”

It was hard for everyone to hear – Safi was fighting back tears. But getting things out in the open allowed us to find solutions and help make things better in the time we DO have with her.

We decided to change the table set up so that on the days Yasmeen is home for dinner she’ll sit next to Soraya. They’ll also be doing skincare Sunday together every week. AND Soraya is allowed in Yasmeen’s room again after expressing that she isn’t a kid anymore and doesn’t want something she did when she was 4 held against her, which is a big step for the two of them.

At the end of the meeting, Soraya said, “We need to listen to Andy Grammer because he brings our family together!” So we did that before treating the girls to one last Sephora trip before the end of their winter break. 😊

Soraya has a hard time finishing her sentences and remembering things, so having a set time during a family meeting where everybody gets a chance to speak is SUPER helpful for us. We’re going to have another meeting soon to discuss love languages so we can learn how to best show love to each other ❤️

Do you have a specific song or artist that brings your family together like Andy Grammer does for us?