Addressing the Elephant in the Room

Safi took Soraya to a routine orthopedic appointment this morning for her scoliosis and hip issues. First she gets an X-ray and then they review. Simple enough, right?

Wrong – Grief stopped by!

Here’s what Safi texted me and gave me permission to share with you ⬇️

So what are the odds of this? The orthopedic fellow came in to see Soraya before the surgeon.

When he came in he was boisterous and so happy. He was asking me about her pain meds and was like.... “Are you seeing pain management?” I was like, “Yes, palliative care has been taking care of us.” He got misty eyed and said, “They do a great job. My son was in palliative care here.” There was this weird moment when I saw him, like REALLY saw him... a complete stranger yet I felt so heard and so sad all at once.

I pulled him aside and said, I am sorry about your son. He was pretty uncomfortable and was real quiet and lost in thought and was like, “yeah... leukemia.” He just kinda trailed off and said thanks and left.

There was some serious sadness in his eyes. In this encounter, Soraya brought his son back to the forefront instantly – it’s a stark reminder of how this grief never truly leaves us. 💔

This made me wonder… if this were you, would you have acknowledged this strangers loss? Or just pass up the elephant?

I see moments like these as opportunities for connection, so I think I would have reacted the same way as Safi…. but I also believe there’s no “right” way when it comes to bringing up the elephant in the room or not. I’d love to know how you decide when to speak up vs acknowledging the shared experience of grief in a more “silent knowing” type of way.

I also posed this question to my Instagram followers. Here are some of their thoughtful responses: