Siblings & Caretaking
I’ve noticed that when people talk about siblings of individuals with complex medical needs (or those with any disability), certain characteristics come up. They’re described as very empathetic, extra compassionate, and having the inherent desire to be a caregiver for their sibling.
I’ve personally experienced this when people talk about Yasmeen and Leena. People assume the girls don’t just actively help care for Soraya, but naturally want and LOVE to do so.
I have so much to say about this topic that I dive deep into in my upcoming book... But generally speaking, I think there’s A LOT of pressure placed on siblings of individuals with complex needs and/or any disability.
These pressures can be to act as a caregiver on a daily basis for their sibling, or the expectation that they will at some point be responsible for making medical decisions and living with/caring for their sibling full time. That’s a lot to put on someone!
From the moment that we knew Soraya would have a g-tube (age 6 months), many members of our family responded with “Thank goodness you’ll have Yasmeen to take care of her.” There were many comments like this as Yasmeen was growing up... and this type of pressure can add complicated feelings to an already tough family dynamic.
While it’s true that many siblings of individuals with complex needs/disabilities do possess the incredible attributes often associated with them, not all want to be caregivers. (🤯)
I would love to normalize that siblings can support the family and their affected sibling in numerous ways that may not be direct caregiving and that’s perfectly OK!!