Blindsided By My Genetic Testing Results
I was recently blindsided...
At a routine exam, I was flagged to undergo gene testing due to my familial cancer history...and it came back positive. My risk of breast cancer is up to 60% and my risk of getting ovarian and pancreatic cancer is DOUBLE that of those who don’t carry the gene.
Initially, I was paralyzed with anxiety. Neither option my medical team laid out for me was appealing– I DID NOT WANT SURGERY and I DID NOT WANT CANCER. I immediately told Safi no to the preventative surgery option. I would just wait to see what the future holds and be vigilant in monitoring for changes...
...Then I talked to a trusted friend who had breast cancer, had chemo, and knew about her gene risk. I knew she’d be honest with me. She supported my thought of how CRAZY it would be to cut off body parts due to risk, not a guarantee! She’d thought the same. Then she mentioned chemo—the side effects, complications, long-term impacts—and said if she could go back, she’d get the preventative surgery.
I also thought about Soraya. If I get cancer when the girls need me the most, how terrible would that be? If it’s after Soraya dies, how can Y and L watch their sister die AND then see me go through chemo and illness?
I began to realize that, for me, this gene was NOT a curse. It was a gift.
Here I’ve been looking for a cause for Soraya’s disease– any gene to give me a clue on how to stop it, let alone cure it. And here I have a gene with directions on how to help me survive. Whhaat?! I would do ANYTHING to have that information for Soraya.
So with that, I feel confident about my decision to get a preventative bilateral mastectomy. I’ll be sharing this additional part of my life as it’s intertwined with caring for Soraya, being a pediatrician, and advocating for talking about all the hard things.
Things I know for certain:
- I am confident in my decision AND I am absolutely terrified
- Surgery will be AFTER Hawaii
- OH, did I mention I’ll be getting my ovaries out next year? One surgery at a time...
- This has rocked my world more than I would have imagined
With that, I’m going off the grid for a few days to process, rest, and recharge for what’s ahead.
More soon ❤️