Let’s Talk About Grief
I’ve found so much comfort and connection as we talk about grief together. These conversations have gotten me thinking a LOT about Anticipatory Grief and the Grief that one feels after the death of a loved one. It’s been really eye-opening!
For a long time, I’d thought of these two types of grief as all under the “grief umbrella”... but lately I’m realizing that these may be different experiences. 🤯
This first dawned on me after my friend Sarah’s dad died. While she knew he was going to die – after he did, she said, “This is so hard, so much worse than I thought.” Her words took me aback a bit. I began to realize that her experience of anticipation was so different from the death of her father and her life afterwards.
While I know these experiences can vary for each person, I think it’s important to delineate between anticipating death vs after the death of a loved one. This is not at all to say one is better, worse, harder, etc., as I DO believe this is so individual. However, I want to acknowledge it can be different.
Other ways this has come up for me is reading books, listening to podcasts, and getting gifts about grief. While there’s so much that resonates and connects with how I’m feeling, there are many parts that I don’t connect with...yet. There’s also the journey of how to live without your loved one on this earth anymore, and I am not there yet. I’m in this strange place of knowing my daughter is dying and I’m trying to figure out how to live life knowing this and feeling this pressure to make her life full – I want her life to matter. Yes, I want to do all of this while parenting my other children, being a wife, friend, and pediatrician.
I’m just realizing that no matter how much I anticipate and know what will happen - there may be a whole different journey once Soraya dies. I won’t know until we get there.
I am here for all of it. I want to share as much as I can to help others and I want to learn as much as I can from others in ANY grief they have. All of it makes me feel less isolated and there’s so much we can learn from each other.
Thank you for listening and for sharing with me. I am so grateful!