“Mom, What Are You Hiding From Me About Your Health?”

Soraya often gets anxious if she has too much time to think about things. We’ve found the sweet spot for sharing big news (hospitalizations, procedures, etc.) with her is about a week in advance. This gives her time to process but not TOO much time.

My original plan was to tell her about my mastectomy a week before the surgery. However, she had other plans!

Last Friday, she asked me out of nowhere – “Mom, what are you keeping from me about your health?” 🤯

I tried telling her nothing to spare her from anxiety, but she persisted. I had to think on my feet. Things were NOT going to plan – I hadn’t had time to discuss details with Safi or to prep with the Child Life team as we usually do, and my surgery is way more than a week away. I wasn’t sure where the conversation but I felt I had to tell her at least something...

I told her that I tested positive for a gene that puts me at risk for cancer but that I do NOT have cancer. I was going to leave it there but she continued looking at me as if asking for more information...so I went for it and told her about the surgery.

She responded, “I want you to get the surgery. I don’t want you to have cancer!”

I barely had a moment to take in her response before she followed up with whether I would get tattooed nipples after 🤣 I told her that the surgeon I’m working with specializes in nipple-sparing, so I get to keep my own. She seemed very happy about that!

This whole experience made me realize that what I think Soraya can handle is not as predictable as I thought. There are so many times when I have to pivot and just meet her where she’s at.

I’m grateful for the grace she gives me as we navigate these tough situations that don’t come with a roadmap together ❤️

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Caring for Soraya: Our Nighttime Routine

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