Sibling Spotlight: Unexpected Triggers
With so much happening with Soraya, one may wonder how her impacts her siblings.
I wish I could say it only impacts them when BIG things happen or when it impacts Safi or I, but that isn’t the case. They each have their own journey, triggers, and processing completely independent of Soraya’s health status and Safi and I’s emotions.
Yasmeen had a couple of unexpected triggers just this past week.
The first was the sudden death of a 10th grader at her high school. Yasmeen has been acquaintances for this student and truly empathized with the student’s sibling, and she thought it would be good to process her feelings with the grief counselors that came to school.
Her intention was to process the grief for THIS student – however, she shared with Safi and me that all she could think about during that meeting was losing Soraya. The conservations around how to process the loss of this student all overlapped with how she had already been feeling. That was very unexpected for her, and she even felt guilty that she couldn’t compartmentalize her grief as she really wanted to dedicate that time and space for the student that had died. If only we could control grief that way!
That same week, Yasmeen was taking her biology test on hereditary diseases that included a question about a rare muscular disease in a female. Seeing it completely put her into a panic. She knew the answer had to do with the fact that these individuals die early, and she couldn’t shake the feelings it triggered in her body. She texted me, “I felt like someone stabbed me in both the stomach and heart.” 💔
I encouraged Yasmeen to talk to her teacher to share the impact of how different things can trigger her. I was SO proud of her for sharing. Yasmeen realized the teacher had no idea how this would even impact her, and she also realized, “I just have to learn to deal with these things. There are only so many accommodations people can make for me.”
What have been some unexpected triggers that you have experienced? How have you dealt with them, either in the moment or after?